CLEARED FOR PUBLIC RELEASE — DOC# SGDC-2026-PUB-001

SPACEBALLS GALACTIC DEFENSE CORP

☆ Combing the galaxy for security vulnerabilities ☆

The galaxy's premier defense contractor. Protecting planetary atmospheres, managing orbital weapons platforms, and securing the known universe since 1987.

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Galactic Security at Scale

Spaceballs Galactic Defense Corp provides end-to-end planetary defense solutions to governments, monarchies, and despotic regimes across the known galaxy. Our proprietary Mega Maid™ orbital platform and Schwartz™ weapons systems represent the cutting edge of galactic security technology.

47
PLANETS PROTECTED
SCHWARTZ UNITS DEPLOYED
1
MEGA MAID PLATFORMS
99.3%
UPTIME (EXCLUDING REVERSALS)

Our Divisions

Four specialized divisions covering the full spectrum of galactic defense operations.

🛡️
PERIMETER DEFENSE DIVISION
Responsible for outer-system threat detection, Schwartz ring deployment, and first-response perimeter security across all contracted planetary systems.
Division Manager: Princess Vespa
🌪️
MEGA MAID ORBITAL SYSTEMS
Operations and maintenance of the Mega Maid™ platform. Air supply extraction, orbital positioning, and planetary atmosphere management services.
Droid Ops Lead: Dot Matrix
⚔️
DARK HELMET'S SPECIAL OPS
Classified special operations division. Handles direct action missions, adversarial Schwartz engagement, and executive protection for President Skroob.
Commander: Dark Helmet
🪐
EXECUTIVE COMMAND
Corporate leadership, strategic planning, and inter-galactic client relations. Also responsible for luggage security and personal combination management.
President & CEO: President Skroob
🔬
SCHWARTZ RESEARCH & DEVELOPMENT
Advancing the science of the Schwartz. Ring calibration, power amplification, and ongoing research into the relationship between size and power.
Lead Researcher: Yogurt (Emeritus)
📡
INTELLIGENCE & RECONNAISSANCE
Galaxy-wide OSINT collection, radar dish operations, and Mr. Radar™ integration services. Also manages the Spaceball One sensor array.
Director: Colonel Sandurz

Command Structure

Our leadership team brings centuries of combined galactic defense experience. All executives can be reached via our standard email format: firstname.lastname@spaceballscorp.com

👑
President Skroob
PRESIDENT & CEO
Executive Command
president.skroob@spaceballscorp.com
⛑️
Dark Helmet
SUPREME COMMANDER
Special Operations
dark.helmet@spaceballscorp.com
🎖️
Colonel Sandurz
COLONEL
Intelligence & Recon
colonel.sandurz@spaceballscorp.com
💎
Princess Vespa
DIVISION MANAGER
Perimeter Defense
vespa@spaceballscorp.com

Corporate Announcements

2026-04-28
OPERATIONS
Mega Maid Launch Postponed Pending Security Review
The planned orbital deployment of Mega Maid has been delayed following a routine security review by the Perimeter Defense Division. A new launch window is under evaluation. President Skroob has been briefed.
2026-04-15
CORPORATE
SGDC Awarded Druidia Atmospheric Extraction Contract
We are pleased to announce a new multi-year contract with an undisclosed client for atmospheric services at Planet Druidia. Full details remain classified pending shield access code verification.
2026-03-10
TECHNOLOGY
Ludicrous Speed Drive Maintenance Window Scheduled
Spaceball One will undergo scheduled maintenance on the Ludicrous Speed drive array. All personnel are reminded that going plaid remains a known side effect and is not covered under standard health insurance.

Contact & Locations

HEADQUARTERS
1 Spaceball One Plaza
Sector 7-G, Outer Quadrant
Galaxy (Zip: 12345)
GENERAL INQUIRIES
SECURITY INCIDENTS
EMPLOYEE PORTAL
API DOCUMENTATION

All employment inquiries must be submitted through the employee portal. Clearance levels 1–5 are assigned upon hire based on operational need.

Unauthorized access to SGDC systems is prohibited under Galactic Defense Code §2813. All access attempts are logged and monitored by our Intelligence & Reconnaissance division.

To report a security vulnerability, contact security@spaceballscorp.com. Do not attempt to exploit systems — we will find you. We have radar.

AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL

Access the employee portal to view classified documents, submit access requests, and manage your personnel file.

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